Archive for September, 2008

Signs Your Husband No Longer Loves You

Barbara Kingsley-Johnson asked:




What are the signs your husband no longer loves you? Are the signs easy to detect? How can you tell your husband no longer wants you? If there is something rotten in your refrigerator you know it every time you open the door. You may not know the exact location, but the smell tells you it is in there. Our lives are like that. If there is something wrong within us, those we come into contact with are going to sense it, whether or not they know what it is or why it is there. It gives off an odor that is detectable.

Here are signs your husband no longer love you

How your husband treats you – If your husband begins to treat you differently from the way he used to, this is a sign that something is wrong. Any unexplained change in the behavior of your husband could mean he is seeing someone else and no longer love you, especially if he used to be a very loving man.

The time he spent with you – If he no longer spends the usual amount of time with you, this could mean he no longer finds you interesting to be with. This says a lot about where his interest now lies.

Your husband no longer eats at home – Your husband used to crave your meals and may even wait till eternity until the meal is ready. If your husband is no longer interested in eating your meals and now gives all forms of excuses about his eating schedule, know that something is already wrong with the marriage.

Long intervals of love making – If your husband who usually troubles you for lovemaking now suddenly begins to give excuses like, “I’m tired,” “The job today is hectic” and you know his job responsibility has not changed, know that something is already wrong with the marriage.

Your husband has become secretive – If he suddenly becomes secretive about his usual day-to-day activities and the usual stories about office activities, know that he no longer love you.

In view of the above, do not be afraid. Make the necessary steps. Ask any farmer; wheat left unattended will eventually seed itself to death. It must be cultivated and the weeds remove. Let the signs your husband no longer love you be your guide to make up with your love and save your marriage from break up.

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BJ Moorer asked:




What a horrible chain of events. Infidelity does happen in relationships. The person you love and trusted has betrayed your trust. Your emotions are shattered. Many relationships have gone through this rocky road. horrible chain of events. Infidelity does happen in relationships. The person you love and trusted has betrayed your trust. Your emotions are shattered. Many relationships have gone through this rocky road. The pain and the scars go deep. All relationships go through some troubled times at some point. But sometimes, the troubled times give way to infidelity on one person’s part. Infidelity can be a tough thing for a relationship to bounce back from.

There are ways to avoid a complete shutdown of your relationship. The first thing is to make sure that you want to do it.

5 Key Elements to consider:

1. In order to bounce back from an infidelity issue, you must be willing to try to resolve the issue.

2. If one partner isn’t willing, or wants to hang onto a grudge, then there will be no way of fixing it, no matter how hard each person tries.

3. Both people in a relationship need to spend time alone and think things through. You’ll need a clear head when you start the recovery process.

4. Don’t count on a quick fix. It is unlikely. Infidelity and the result of it is a complicated matter.

5. Discuss what your feelings are since this has happened. It wasn’t easy on you to find out about the infidelity your partner was involved in. He or she will need to know exactly what you went through when you found out.

Hurt mixed up feelings can be sorted out. It will take time and only you can decide if the relationship is worth the time and effort.

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Christina Caci asked:




When you dream, it usually has something to do with your subconscious. It can involve anything from your last thought before you go to sleep, to that show you watched before bed, to the to-do list you have looming tomorrow.

But more often than not, dreams tap into your inner psyche. They often present things you don’t want to face in your day-to-day life. Your mind works overtime while it’s dreaming, and what you worry about will often come to the surface.

If you’re dreaming out a cheating boyfriend, there’s a reason! Your gut feeling about your relationships is always correct. Your subconscious mind might see the signs, while your conscious mind dismisses them. If you don’t want to face the fact of a cheating boyfriend, it will be easy to sweep the signs away.

But deep down, you know the truth!

If you’re dreaming about a cheating boyfriend, it’s time to get the proof – one way or the other – that will set your mind at ease. If you have that gut feeling that something is wrong, chances are, you’re absolutely right. But how do you go about finding out what he’s hiding from you?

Start by keeping a journal. Use it to write down not only the things you dream about, but the things you see in your waking hours. Write down what he tells you about work or his friends. Make special note of any mysterious phone calls or evenings he worked late.

You can go further than that! Write down the mileage on the car and check it every day or so. Is he driving it much more than necessary just to get to work? Ask him where he had lunch, and make a note of it – you might find a receipt later that says otherwise.

If he’s evasive about anything, hesitates during a discussion with you, or changes the subject abruptly, make a note of it. What might seem innocent if it happens once or twice is not innocent at all if it begins to show a pattern.

Pay attention to what parts of his life he doesn’t want to talk about and make a point of bringing them up from time to time. If his stories change, you’ve caught him in a lie – and why would anyone lie, unless they had something to hide?

The more you hear, the more you will write down. The more you write down, the faster you will see a pattern that looks out of place. Your dreams don’t lie – pay attention to them, and start digging to find out what your boyfriend is hiding!

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Brandi Simon asked:




When you’ve been accused of cheating, your first reaction may be to go on the defensive. It’s very common and completely natural to feel as if you are being attacked when your partner thinks you’re having an affair. After that initial reaction, take a step back to examine your relationship.

Most men and women wouldn’t even conceive the idea of you being unfaithful if things were hunky dory in your relationship. So, what is missing? What brought out this green eyed monster in your mate? It’s up to you to be the detective and figure out where your marriage has gone awry. Follow these steps to get back on the right path after you’ve been accused of cheating.

First and foremost you need to assure your partner that you’re not cheating (if in fact you are not). This solves two problems. It helps build your spouse up and helps to build you up in your spouses’ eyes. Explain that you understand things aren’t right in your marriage and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it better so that she never has reason to cheat again.

Secondly, have a candid conversation about what made your partner even think that you were having an affair. You are going to have to come right out and ask her what is going on that she would think that. Have your habits or behaviors suddenly changed? Is your relationship strained? Understand that your spouse may not even know what is causing her uneasiness and you may have to start asking lots of very pointed questions to get to the bottom of it. Do not take offense when your wife starts telling you what she feels is wrong and what brought about the concern to begin with. Remember that you are trying to find out from your wife what caused HER concern and it’s most likely going to be something she perceives you said or did.

Finally, don’t be afraid to change. It’s going to take massive amounts of work to overcome whatever your wife told you was at the root of her concerns but it will be well worth it in the end. Keep in mind as you’re working through these issues that you may have some of your own issues with your wife and there may be some things that she needs to change as well. However, remember that she had enough concern about your relationship that she thought you were having an affair and right now your job is to get past those feelings. Once you begin to make some progress and changes then you can slowly broach the subject of what you feel is lacking in your relationship. For now, focus on your wife.

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GPS Tracking Devices

Jim Kesel asked:




Had it not been for a GPS tracking device in OJ Simpson’s mobile phone, he would not have been found to be tried on his wife’s murder. A GPS tracking device is much like driving around in your car with your mobile phone. It allows a person to locate the current position of a moving vehicle or identify where its been and as well, where it is heading. This is ideal for chasing criminals who has just fled the scene of the crime or finding where a suspicious vehicle will be heading next.

A GPS device calculates its position by measuring distances between itself and other GPS satellites. In return, the signals emitted by the GPS tracking device are transmitted to tracking service provider by cell phone technology. Then this information is made available to you via the internet. Aside from absolute location, other civilian benefits in GPS tracking devices include direction of travel, average speed and time of travel. This information is very valuable to the fleet manager of any business.

Other benefits of GPS tracking devices is the ability to know the location of each vehicle or carrier on a map. This technology can also create a digital view of the vehicles current position in a geographic map which is also an additional feature for vehicles with GPS. This allows you to track vehicles that are operated in remote locations without named roads or operated off road.

More advanced GPS devices can even tell you which turn to take or which roads to take to reach a destination. Life is now easier drivers who simply get in their cars and start their engines without knowing where to go. GPS in vehicles have given eyes to the almost blind driver. The world is much smaller these days as a result of this new technology. For each geographic location we are at, have been or going to, can now be identified with a simple click of a button.

So, if you ever wonder where your car may be, your GPS can track where it is. If for instance your car gets stolen, you can easily find where it is heading or where it currently is. Suppose a vehicle stops in the middle of nowhere because of some car trouble, the driver could easily ask for help, or his location could easily be tracked for emergency assistance, that is for as long as there is a signal and cell phone coverage is available. Real time GPS tracking systems will not work without it. These features will definitely decrease car theft or even robberies with getaway vehicles. This can also give cheating husbands or spouses a second thought on their actions. Moving around in vehicles with GPS can very well ruin a secret affair because of its non-discreet ability to identify ones exact location.

With the advent of such technology, GPS in your mobile phones or GPS in your cars, we are giving away a part of our private lives to know where our vehicles and loved ones are. We are giving up away our privacy and that is a big concern for many people. If you do install a GPS tracking device, then you should expect that somebody else can have access to your tracking information.. But, for as long as knowing where we are can do no harm and you are not doing something illegal, then GPS tracking device information will do us no harm.

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Married Couples and Affairs

Ismail Ahmed Alhashmi asked:




Today, as the world is moving very fast towards modernization (specifically the IT boom and the invention of internet), many societal failings have also taken place. And with this dilemma the fact of upgrading the taste of new life partner has also been attaining its altitude. We have seen that women to some extent tolerate men for having an affair but today the fact is not hidden that likewise men women are also having affairs.

What is an Affair? There we find many examples around us. A person may be seen fed up with spouse, so starts getting attracted to an appealing person of the opposite sex in the next cubicle. This person is known for years, and it’s so easy to talk. S/he just listens. Pretty soon the sharing of intimate problems starts, and now the co-worker tells how hard it has been undergoing this. And then s/he advises the best way out seemingly which is to just leave the spouse and then maybe the two of them go out to lunch to talk more about it all. Here it is revealed with this person all one needed so badly during this condition and that’s a sympathetic ear, someone who understands the problems and all one is going through, maybe even the first meaningful physical touch s/he’s had for months.

Apparently, not all office relationships lead to affairs, and not all affairs start at work but, this exhibition is an overly simplified and time-compressed way how some people start down the path of cheating on their spouse.

There is no age limit to start having a marital affair. Whether a person has been married for thirty days or thirty years, it is hard to resist from an extramarital affair. We can’t provide a definite number that how many married people are cheating on their spouses? But many studies and estimates normally have shown that more than one-third of men and about one-quarter of women admits to having had at least one extramarital sexual act. Whereas if we enumerate the cases of “emotional infidelity” — where a spouse engages in an intimate (yet not sexual) friendship with a member of the opposite sex — the numbers are much higher, probably greater than 50 percent.

In an affair a person regardless of his/her wish adopts dual personality. S/he will always have to hide something from spouse or the person with whom there is having affair. Divorce is more likely to occur when the woman has the affair. And, unfaithful women are viewed more negatively than unfaithful men in many cultures.

Why an affair? Though reasons for affairs are many, often they can be identified; generally, there is one primary reason which may not be easily noticeable, especially if that reason feels inappropriate to the person.

Some primary reasons why a married person has an affair is

o S/he is martially unhappy

o There are family problems

o S/he needs some excitement

o Some very good understanding takes place with another person

o Falling in love with another person

o S/he wants to overcome the desire of Lust or Sex

o Revenge the partner

o S/he wants Freedom or independence

o S/he wants to end the marriage

In order to understand the reasons a married person has an affair, it helps to understand a man or woman, however, as with any cause and effect dynamic, generalizations may still be made. Factors which make it difficult to know the real reasons are that all of us like to think that we’re doing things for a reason which makes sense.

An affair has two possible directions: one, the affair continues, or two, the affair ends. The possibilities encountered on either path are whether or not the spouse knows of the adultery and whether or not the marital relationship ends.

Studying about why married couples have affairs, I came across some aspects amongst which the most important one related to marital life is having bad and poor process of communication and consultation.

In the course of my research I found out that communication is central to a healthy marital life. It is the main source of harmony, love, and the continuity of marital life. The absence of proper communication builds up to conflict that, which then could possibly end the marital life. As well from the religious point of view, in the matter of nursing a child, communication and consultation with each other is very important.

Some Empirical studies have also shown that absence of proper communication, dialogue, and conversation between spouses and married couples give rise to violence and it perishes the wisdom.

If a husband doesn’t consult his wife or vice versa believing that the spouse is incapable of providing a sound and wise decision in any issues related to their martial life, the household, or public affairs then he has also been mistaken and ignorant in choosing him/her as an eternal life partner.

In this essence, married couples must maintain a strong marital bond by having a firm communication and consultation with each other. The moment this process weakens, the marital life vulnerabilities heaps up until the relationship becomes “cold” and this coldness leads to the attempt of one or both couples to find warmth outside the marital relationship giving a gap to marital affairs to be played.

extramarital affair
Jeanine Byers Hoag asked:




“As we come to really know ourselves we will be crossing through the frightening terrain of the shadowlands as well as that of the light. But the process is essential, not only for our process of individuation but also for the creation of authentic relationships, for we can never have a better relationship with another person than the one we have with ourself.” -Kathleen Brehony, Awakening at Midlife

This article introduces the part of the midlife manifesto series which will help you explore your relationships and take you through the steps for letting go of all the relationship baggage that keeps you from creating the relationships you want most.

When I was in my 20s, my friends and I talked endlessly about finding love, how and where we might find it and how disappointed we were when things didn’t work out in our relationships. The support of my friends during those tumultuous years was invaluable.

But as we got older, my friends and I began to realize-and we joked about this-that we were basically dating the same person over and over again. A few of the identifying details might change here and there, but basically, they were the same.

We would laugh and say things like, “well, this time his hair is longer.” Or one friend would say, “I like the clothes he’s wearing this time around!” But the painful realization that in our relationships, some of the same old problems showed up again and again. That was no joke!

Repetition Compulsion

Repetition Compulsion is a fancy name for that phenomenon. Psychoanalysts say that we relive the circumstances of our traumas and our painful stories again and again.

They explain that this “same old, same old” repetition happens in an unconscious attempt to gain control. We hope that if we re-create it, that this time, the results will be different. It doesn’t work, but we keep trying! Freud said that this happened in two ways: in our memories or in the circumstances of our lives. So we can repeat those experiences passively, like in our dreams or memories. Or we can re-create them in active ways.

So if we apply that idea to our relationships, it explains both the painful relationship patterns we repeat and the difficulty we have in letting go of the pain long after the relationships end. But it also implies that if we can heal that trauma that our bodies still remember, we can stop repeating those negative patterns in the relationships we have now or the ones we hope to have in the future.

How to Heal Your Relationship Trauma
Step One: Let Go of the Illusion of Perfect Love
Step Two: Identify What Needs to Heal
Step Three: Solidify Your Commitment to Heal
Step Four: Create a Plan for Healing
Step Five: Create and Anchor Your Vision for the Relationship You Want

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A Look at Pheromone Cologne

Kristy Annely asked:




Imagine a cologne that doesn’t just make you smell good, it makes you look good, too. That is what pheromone cologne manufacturers would have you believe. A typical product has a selling line like, “”Would you like to turn beautiful single women on instantly?”" Who would say no? Mixed with alluring fragrances, pheromone colognes reportedly work on the principal that humans can detect and be influenced by pheromones, but what are they?

Technically, pheromones are chemicals produced by animals that affect the behavior of other animals. This isn’t a purely sexual affair as many would have you believe. There are pheromones for everything from marking territories to leading the way to food. Most of the attention, however, is on the well documented fact that many insects and animals find and respond to their potential mates based on pheromones.

Human pheromones don’t really have a strong scent. The myth that by applying deodorant, you are covering up your natural pheromones doesn’t hold much water. Most people would definitely prefer the smell of deodorant over strong body odor. Technically, pheromones are odorless; they are more or less “”detected”" by an organ in your nose called the vomeronasal organ. This organ, though more developed in other mammals, sends signals to the brain when pheromones are detected that may say things like, “”Whoa, healthy genes at 8 o’clock, let’s get his number.”" At least that’s what buyers of these products hope.

Pheromones are actually regulated as fragrances so there is no limit to the amount of pheromone in pheromone cologne. Some of the more popular pheromone cologne products out there are Athena Pheromone, Pherone Formulas, Pherplay, and Pherlife. Not just for men, there are also pheromone perfumes targeted towards women who want to use the power of pheromones to attract men. Remember that results can vary and make sure to check customer feedback on these products before buying.

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Debra Mercuri asked:




It’s happened a hundred million times. It’s an age old story. So many cliche’s. Yet the truth is, affairs in marriages come down to one truth…heart trouble. Yes, you heart me right, heart trouble. How can I know that for sure? I know, I’ve been there. My husband and I have survived unfaithfulness in our marriage. And we were given the God tools to put the pieces back together. Fitting the last piece of the puzzle in it’s place, it hit me.

Each of us have within us an innate desire to be loved and have that love returned. However, most of us do not feel worthy of that love. So we go through life easily misled by anyone who shows us any affection, affirmation or acknowledgment. These are important things for women to show their husbands and husbands to show their wives and if they are not, trust me, someone else will! But they should never be mistaken as love or intimacy that God has intended between a husband and wife in the confines of marriage.

Our hearts are desperately wicked and cannot be trusted. Don’t get mad at me. I’m just quoting the Author! The heart gets misled easily into thinking that any affection, affirmation or acknowledgment means that you are now extra special and before you know it, your new best friend, PRIDE, is convincing you that you can handle this attention without any help from anyone (who would be telling you to stay away from the attention) and you are on a slippery path to adultery.

It is so subtle at first. It has to be. This is always how the enemy works. If he came at you full force you would recognize him right away and shy away. No, subtlety works best. That way once the hook is in, it’s too late. Right?

Well, in some cases, it can be. If the heart does not get taken care of, it fails. But our God allows in confession and repentance. Thank Him. Praise Him! And He teaches us that His acknowledgment of us is all we ever need. His affirmation of us is more than enough. His affection of us is so incredibly amazing! He takes the piece of the puzzle that was missing and puts it in place and seals it. And then He says “I AM”.

Amazingly enough, your heart will begin to beat rhythmically, beautifully, faithfully!

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Rahul Talwar asked:




Often, it may not be easy for you to understand the mind of your spouse. It may become difficult for you to find out whether what he narrates facts or pure lies. By applying some psychological tricks you can discover his degree of honesty and spot him if he is a liar. There are three effective ways to catch your liar spouse. Read on to discover what they are and catch it right away…..

-When you suspect him over something and start enquiring him, repeat the questions again and again. If he has told a lie he would not be able to justify the false again and again. If your spouse is giving long explanations to your short questions, you have reasons to suspect that the answers have been prepared well in advance by him to cover all the corners. A long explanation or story may cover all circumstances in which you may doubt about his loyalty towards you.

-When your spouse is unable to provide you direct answers to your simple and straight questions, you can view his attitude with suspicion and doubt. He may be giving you indirect replies with an intention to confuse you and divert your attention from the main controversy. Never allow your liar spouse to change the topic of discussion.

-When there are suspicious and unusual body movements you have reasons to believe that he is telling pure lies and nothing else. He may even try his hands just to explain his false view point. You may view discomfort in his body language and eyes. He may be disturbed within himself when he is lying before you and may be constantly touching his mouth, back of head or lips during the conversation with you. You can notice that the emotions of your spouse do not match with the real situation.

You have to intelligently discover the secrets of his dishonesty and quickly find his lies to cure and maintain the relationship between both of you.

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