Archive for December, 2008

Marital Infidelity – The One Thing You Must Control

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 at 5:57 pm  
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Daryl Campbell asked:




In a study published by the Associated Press, roughly 17% of all divorces in the United States are due to marital infidelity. On the surface many people would consider that number minuscule; that is until they realize it represents millions of couples.

Why some people commit fully to a relationship one minute and then throw it away the next by having an extramarital affair has been the subject of discussion since the beginning of time. We are all familiar with some of the excuses as to why a spouse cheats. Things such as their current relationship has grown stale or no one has ever loved them like the other person are old standbys. It has also in way to many circumstances come down to a lack of self control. They want what they want and no one is going to stand in their way; especially not the person who they are married too. End of discussion.

That kind of attitude can easily arouse strong feelings in the spouse who is the victim of marital infidelity. The most common of these emotions is anger. It is understandable. You are giving everything you’ve got to make the marriage work and building a relationship is a never ending process.

Spending time and energy are only small portions of the equation. The real heavy lifting comes when you invest yourself emotionally and spiritually. Doing this leaves you vulnerable since you are trusting the other person to believe in you and accept what you have to offer.

They have seen you to the core of who you are as person so when marital infidelity becomes a reality, it feels like not only have they carelessly discarded you but also exposed you to the ultimate humiliation.

And here comes the anger. No one or nothing is going to make a fool out of you at least not without paying dearly for it. They screwed up. There will be no forgive and forget just revenge in one form or another.

Stop right there. All you are about to do is make matters MUCH WORSE than they are right now. Sure they initiated the problem and no matter the mind games they attempt to play with you it still remains exclusively their fault and responsibility. Don’t let them off the hook by seeking payback. Your pride is hurt but it will heal. If you let it take over your thought process, it could easily lead you into places that will be a nightmare with no escape.

If you feel that strongly about it than the best thing you can do after finding out your spouse is having an extramarital affair is end the relationship. Whether you have been together 1 week or 30 years, you should be of the mindset that they (not you) blew it. They had a good thing going but now it’s all gone. You still had so much to give and share but because of their thoughtlessness they permanently loused up a golden opportunity to get to know more about the fantastic you. Let your ego stay focused on that basic truth.

Only a cheating spouse knows why they cheat. Apparently giving them one hundred percent of yourself is not always good enough. That’s life but it doesn’t mean you need to fall into the trap of seeking revenge. Their infidelity may have destroyed the relationship but don’t let the anger you feel destroy your life.

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You’ve Been Caught Cheating! Now What?

Monday, December 29th, 2008 at 11:22 am  
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Dean A Osborne asked:




So, your secret affair has come to light. You’ve been caught cheating! Now what do you do?

If an affair takes place over a prolonged period of time, there will be a good chance that it will be discovered. Affairs happen for many different reasons, some more deliberate than others.

There are temptations all around, and many affairs occur because a partner thinks they are just “sampling”, but it turns into a full course meal.

The truth is, not all bad things are done by bad people. Good people sometimes get caught up in a moment which leads to bad decisions with consequences.

You’ve been caught cheating. Hopefully you are one of those good people that made a bad decision. It is also true that one choice does not define a person. A person’s body of work is what gives them character.

The honest truth is at this point your relationships future may be out of your hands. But you are now faced with how you should proceed since getting caught.

If you are in a relationship with someone that you really do love, then there are a few things that you need to think about and address.

Telltale Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating on You

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 at 6:32 am  
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Donna Carroll asked:




Suspecting that your boyfriend isn’t being faithful to you is a horrible feeling. If you two have already professed your love for each other and you believed that your relationship was exclusive, it’s heart wrenching when you start doubting his fidelity. Obviously asking him whether he has a lover isn’t likely going to give you the answers you seek. However, there are some signs your boyfriend is cheating on you that will give you a glimpse into what is really going on with him.

One of the most obvious signs your boyfriend is cheating on you is that he suddenly becomes busier. When a man is having an affair he has to make time to be with that woman. If you two regularly spend the majority of your free time together and now he has other things he needs to tend to, that should set off a red flag. Many men go to the excuse of work picking up its pace or their friends are pressuring them to hang out more. Another woman may actually be the reason your boyfriend has less time for you.

Another of the signs your boyfriend is cheating that isn’t quite as obvious has to do with his cell phone behavior. Most men involved in a relationship with another woman will correspond with her via email, text and cell phone. You know how your boyfriend has been in the past regarding his cell phone calls so if anything seems different now, it’s worth noting. Men who are having an affair will tend to walk out of the room when their lover calls, or they’ll ignore the call altogether. If your boyfriend acts like this when his cell rings, pay closer attention. He may be getting a call from the other woman in his life.

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Cheating Spouse – Cell Phone Warning Signs

Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 2:01 am  
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Daan Theron asked:




Is your cheating spouse using the cell phone to cheat on you? If you suspect they are, then what can you do about it? How can you use the cell phone to get evidence of infidelity? This article contains some suggestions.

Check the cell phone bills – You can go through all the listed calls and take note of unfamiliar numbers. You can also note the time when the calls were placed or received.

Call the suspicious numbers – if you want to call unfamiliar numbers in order to find out who is at the other end, be sure to call from a pay phone so that your caller identification is not recorded. Do not say anything, but wait for the person to answer so that you can try to identify the voice.

Friendly fire — It is also possible that your spouse is having an affair with someone you both know and that this person’s number will not be unfamiliar to you. You will then have to determine whether the amount of calls associated with this person is unnaturally high or occurred at strange times of the day.

Other signs of unfaithful times can also be present. Here are 7 common things.
Changing behavior patterns. Financial trickery. Changes in appearance. Attitude changes. Decreased interest in family matters. Changes in sexual behavior. Gifts

Abnormal behavior can be something like going out at night when your spouse never did that before. Financial trickery may be done to conceal secret expenses such as hotel bills, jewelry or special evenings at a restaurant.

An unfaithful spouse can also change their attitude towards their partner and start to become irritated or frustrated by them. They may also have mood swings. Their interest in family matters may decrease and they can stop giving attention to their children.

Changes in sexual behavior can include increased or decreased libido as well as new techniques that your partner did not learn from you. Excessive gift giving may be a way to combat feelings of guilt caused by being unfaithful.

These suggestions may or may not indicate infidelity and a cheating spouse, but at least you can be aware of them and pursue the truth with caution.

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Emotional Cheating Signs – Are the Emotional Signs That They Are Cheating Obvious?

Sunday, December 21st, 2008 at 10:32 am  
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Scott Sickles asked:




Well the fact is no one knows your spouse better than you do so the answer is an emphatic yes. The emotional signs they are cheating should definitely be obvious, at least to you. You are the one that is most familiar with their personality and mannerisms so any changes in those areas should be pretty obvious. The problem is that these signs don’t exclusively 100% mean they are cheating. There could be perfectly logical explanations as to why they are exhibiting some of these signs.

The emotional signs they are cheating can manifest themselves in different ways but they will always involve changes of some sort. Let’s take a look at just a few of them:

If your spouse has always been considerate and respectful of your feelings and now suddenly they don’t seem to care one way or the other, well there is a sign.

Maybe they use to confide in you about everything and now they rarely even speak. Again, there is another one.

A different angle could be that they seem to be distant and withdrawn from you and seem to be avoiding you whenever they can.

Yet another is that they may seem to be on edge constantly and will get angry at the drop of a hat over the smallest of issues.

The list can go on and on but the key factor is to be looking for changes in their behavior. The signs will involve change in some form and that should be what you are looking for.

Again you must remember that emotional changes don’t necessarily mean your spouse is cheating. Issues at work, with the children or extended family and yes even with you can trigger behavioral patterns in them that can be misconstrued as emotional signs they are cheating. That’s why you need to be completely sure and have the proof before you start throwing around accusations. They might very well be internally dealing with issues that you aren’t aware of and if you start accusing them of cheating you might very well damage a perfectly good relationship.

If you observe any emotional signs they are cheating then you need to take the next step and learn how to turn those signs into actual proof. There is plenty of information and tools available to you for this task. You can check their cell phone and computer usage to search of evidence that they are having an affair if you know how. Don’t let the emotional signs they are cheating control you. You can put a stop to it today!

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Common Relationship Problems

Saturday, December 20th, 2008 at 7:26 am  
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Kent Pinkerton asked:




The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc.), the real problem is that the two partners haven’t been talking openly to each other about their feelings. This lack of communication is what makes the problems grow in the early stages and furthermore, what makes them hugely difficult to deal with in the end stages of the relationship. And essentially, whether couples go to workshops together, or therapy, or even answer the questions on a relationship quiz together, the real bottom line for any method is that the two people are talking to each other about their relationship.

Too often, talking to each other means fighting with each other. Relationship problems can’t be solved with yelling and screaming and the main purpose of a workshop, or a quiz or therapy is that there is something or someone there to prevent the yelling and screaming from taking over the process.

The therapist can be helpful if he or she does nothing more than to provide a safe, controlled atmosphere for the couple to talk calmly about their relationship problems. Obviously, if the therapist can make suggestions, comments and offer advice to the couple on how to better deal with each other, this will greatly benefit them and speed the healing process. By merely providing a forum for calm, orderly discussion, the therapist can move a couple off of the path towards a breakup or divorce and back into the realm of hope for the survival of the relationship.

The problems may come from any list – sex, money, quality time, control, outside influences, personal issues, infidelity, fear, listening to and supporting each other, but all of these problems can be addressed, perhaps not solved but at least addressed, through communication with each other. If there is no communication, the relationship problems will win out and the relationship itself must ultimately fail.

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Why Do People Cheat – Here Are the Answers You Have Desperately Been Searching For

Saturday, December 20th, 2008 at 5:25 am  
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Pushpa Pal Singh asked:




So what makes a person cheat? What gets them to do such things even when the relationship seems to be going fine? You see the reasons are several and often there are things done in a relationship with neither of the partner realize due to which such things happen. This is the major reason you must not miss this at any cost because this can happen to you as well. Read on to discover some of the biggest secrets behind why people cheat and achieve earth shattering results…….

Not having enough time for each other- This is one sad part about the modern society. You see people do get into a relationship but often are not able to take time out for each other due to which they don’t spend much time with each other and look for someone else to spend their time with. Most relationships die together instead of growing together. You see this is the reason why you must try to get out some time out of your schedule to spend it with your spouse.

Not understand each other- Lack of understand is another major cause due to which a lot of people out there cheat. Couples get judgmental of each others actions instead of understanding them due to which they look for love from other sources. Always try to understand your mate instead of judging him/her.

Not giving your spouse enough importance- This is another big reason why a lot of people cheat or get cheated on. You see when you don’t treat your partner with respect they will try to search this respect from other people and would even try to find love. Therefore always treat your partner with respect.

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Together Forever

Thursday, December 18th, 2008 at 8:49 pm  
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Paul Davis asked:




Love endures all things,

Believes all things,

Hopes all things,

And never fails.

Such a love comes with commitment

Keeping us together forever.

Such a love I pledge to you Karla

My prized princess

The darling whom I kiss

The one whom my heart can’t resist

She whom I wish

To hold forever in my arms

Keep safe from any harm

Cause to rest and never alarm

Comfort and protect

Always endear and never reject

Trust and never of ill suspect

Give attention to and never neglect

Be sensitive, readily able to detect

The slightest trouble within

Causing your heart to sink

Your head to spin

Always striving for us together to win

Relationally maintain a love that last

Always learning from the past

But never being held hostage to it

Pressing toward the future

Hopeful and expectantly

Knowing that together we can arise triumphantly

Overcome every overwhelming circumstance

Rejoice together, sing, and dance

Keep alive our tender romance

Rejoicing daily in the little things

Happily engaging whatever the day brings

Prayerfully inviting our Creator

Into our marriage and many dreams

Empowering us to work together as a team

Realizing not all things are as they seem

But renewing our focus and perspective

Wholeheartedly committing to love and live

To embrace and love unconditionally

Never to hold a grudge or respond bitterly

But seeing the best in one another

Encouraging each other positively

Possessing our soul patiently

Being long-suffering,

Holding our tongue tightly

Avoid speaking unkindly

Remain silent when necessary

Forbidding any release of negativity

Asking the Holy Spirit to flow supernaturally

Bring forth His character in us graciously

As we pray together

We stay together

As we deny self and decease

Christ can arise and increase

As we to self die daily

The power of the resurrection

Shall arise mightily

We forever shall be together divinely.

You, me, and God an unbreakable trinity.

Blessed in spirit, soul, and body

Giving and forgiving gloriously.

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How to Catch a Cheating Partner – 3 Stunning Tricks You Can’t Afford to Miss at Any Cost

Monday, December 15th, 2008 at 11:39 pm  
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Rahul Talwar asked:




Not only is it degrading, but it is a tough game as well to spy on your spouse and catch him/ her betraying you. Nearly 7 out of 10 infidelity cases either go uninvestigated, or are considered to be null and void due to lack of sufficient proof. On the whole, the terms and conditions of the game seem to favor the cheater.

Following are the top 3 ways to catch your cheating spouse…..

Mobile Monitoring-

Cell phones are too good a gadget that helps you go a long way in tracing the sneaky activities of your “beloved” spouse. Devised to record the entire call history i.e. places and person where calls have been made and from whom you’ve received calls and text messages, it’s not at all difficult a task for you to note down the unknown numbers repeating themselves on the call list.

Computers-

Finding your spouse spending hours sitting before the computer? No worries; simply install a spy ware in his/ her PC. This is too good a trick to track the online activities of your partner. Spy ware programs keep running at the backend starting from the time the machine has been booted, till it’s shut down, and that too without your spouse knowing that it’s running. Be it chats or net surfing or e-mails you’ll have a very clear evidence of everything.

Finance & Funds-

Keeping an eye on the financial transactions of your spouse is of utmost importance especially when you’re working hard to catch his/ her lie. Monitor your partner’s ATM withdrawals, credit statements, bank passbooks, mileage, phone bills and the like. Something or the other will definitely show up if you’re being genuinely cheated upon by your partner. Confront your spouse with the proper paper proofs and see what sort of an explanation they have for you.

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How to Know If Your Wife is Cheating on You

Sunday, December 14th, 2008 at 1:03 pm  
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Ryan Singler asked:




When you want to know how to know if your wife is cheating on you, you will find that you often have your first piece of evidence right there. People feel suspicious for a reason, and when you realize that an overwhelming amount of married people, both male and female, cheat, you will find that you are going to feel even more suspicious. However, suspicious are not facts, and you will find that just because you fear something doesn’t make it true. It might be all in your head, or perhaps she is hiding something else all together, but if you are wondering what some of the signs of a cheating wife are, make sure that you consider some of the following.

The first thing that you should look at is whether or not she looks different. In many cases, when people start up affairs, they will start dressing up and taking better care of themselves. Have you noticed any unexpected weight loss, or have you ever considered anything that she has done to her appearance? One way to think about it is to see how much she reverts to when you were dating. Lots of unsuspecting spouses are just happy that their wife is taking good care of herself and never bother to ask why.

Another thing that happens a great deal is that the spouse is completely blindsided by the discovery of an affair. It often feels that things were going so well. Perhaps you have noticed that your wife is taking better care of you than ever, or that she is being surprisingly sweet and accommodating. Things that had been the sources of major arguments before turned into things that no one cares about. Perhaps your wife has turned over a new leaf, or maybe she is simply doing something she feel guilty over! Just because someone feels guilty doesn’t mean that they are going to stop having an affair, so take some time and make sure that you consider what is going on!

You will also find that if you are thinking about how to know if your wife is cheating on you that you should think about what make you nervous or suspicious. When it comes right down to it, you will find that there is a good chance that you know your wife very well. If you have been together for a long time, you will find that there is a good chance that you are very in tune with each other. What sort of behavior is making you nervous, and why?

Discovering a spouse is cheating on you is extremely traumatic, and you will find that if you are looking at a way to move forward and figure out what is going on, you need to be on top of things. Take some time to make sure that you know what you are getting into and why you feel the way that you do. Cheating is a lot more common than you might think, so take the time to be prepared!

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