Teddy Shabba asked:




A question that some guys spend way too much time trying to figure out is the type of women that is most likely to cheat on you.

Here is just a short list of the types of women some men seem to think are more likely to cheat on him:

Party Goers Strippers Emotionally abused women Physically abused women Sexually abused women Women with low self-esteem While it is true that the type of women on this list do cheat on their men, your being with a woman of this kind does not mean she is more likely to cheat on you.

In fact, the types of women that are most likely to cheat on you are the women that you have not completely attracted.

The reason why the types of women listed above might seem to be more likely to cheat is because it is very difficult to attract these types of women completely.

These types of women are also much more likely to get into a relationship with a man for reasons other than how attracted she is to him.

In other words, women cheat because they have found another man who creates a stronger attraction inside of her than you presently can.

At the same time, the lifestyle that you provide for her is much greater than what the other man can or she is smart enough to know there is no guarantee that the other man will provide her with the type of lifestyle you are.

So really the answer is quite simple, the less she is attracted to you compared with other men the more likely she is to cheat.

Put another way, the stronger her attraction for you the less likely she is to cheat.

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Katie Lersch asked:




Even though it was years ago, I still very vividly remember when I found out about my husband’s affair. Saying I was devastated is not a strong enough description. I was completely floored, horribly betrayed, and I felt so lost. I could not fathom that I would ever feel any better, or that things could improve. Worse, I really had no one to talk to. When I did reach out to others, I received conflicting advice from those who had never been there. Some told me to forgive my husband’s affair is just “typical male behavior,” while some demanded that I get my children and walk out the door even though my husband was doing everything in his power to save our marriage in the aftermath.

In truth, none of these discussions made me feel any better. They just made me feel conflicted. I felt like a spineless pushover when I was around the friends who told me to dump him. And, I felt like an unforgiving fraud around those who told me to forgive him. So, in this article, I will offer you advice from someone who has been exactly where you are. I hope to offer the advice I wish I had gotten.

Do Not Carry The Burden Of The Affair. The Cheating Is Not Your Fault: I can not begin to tell you how many women contact me even when they have just found out about the affair and when things are still very raw, who are completely willing to shoulder some of the blame for the affair. They will say things like “I should have given him more attention,” or “I didn’t make enough time for him,” or “I shouldn’t have ignored the signs.” All of these things may well be true, at least a little. But, you were not the one who made the decision to cheat. He was. I am sure there were times when you too felt neglected or restless, but you likely handled it in another way rather than cheating.

I don’t say these things to paint your husband as evil. Men very often don’t see an affair as the same way that women do. They can separate the love for their wives and cheating, believe it or not. They often don’t stop to think about the consequences of their actions and often they think you will never find out . They often justify what they are doing by telling themselves that they are taking care of whatever is going on themselves without having to burden you with it. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I can tell you from the men who contact me for help in saving their marriages that this is their thought process, as completely flawed as it is.

And, very often, men cheat because of how they feel about themselves, not because of how they feel about you. They are trying to recapture feelings of being attractive, powerful, successful, and competent. In short, they are trying to rescue their own self esteem. Understand this for what it is – their flaw, not yours.

Why do men cheat on beautiful women like Jennifer Aniston or Princess Diana? Because they are lacking within themselves.

Be Kind To Yourself And Open To The Idea That Eventually Something Positive Can Emerge From All Of This: It may not feel like it right now. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that it doesn’t, but please believe me when I say that in time, the choking feeling that plagues you right now will eventually lessen and loosen it’s grip. It won’t happen over night. There may well be many difficult days ahead, but very often affairs actually improve marriages if you handle the aftermath correctly. What happens is that both spouses learn that they can’t take one another for granted and that neglect can leave a marriage vulnerable. In short, they “wake up” and change the way they communicate and interact.

There are some common pitfalls that you can avoid to expedite your healing. First, please trust me when I say that you need to tell your husband exactly how you feel and exactly what you need if you ultimately decide to save your marriage. Many women are afraid to expose their husband’s to extent of how they really feel, for fear that this will only make them appear more unattractive or damaged.

The problem with this, though, is that if you keep stuffing your feelings down, eventually they are going to come out in very negative ways. You’ll find yourself making sarcastic or hurtful comments. You’ll pull yourself back from trusting again. You build a huge wall around yourself that ensures you’ll have trouble restoring intimacy and closeness, even if this is what you really want deep down.

Probably one of the most common misunderstandings that I see is that the wife needs reassurance and accountability but doesn’t say a word about this. So, when the husband isn’t forthcoming with affection or the email passwords, the wife reads this as “see, I knew that he no longer wants me or no longer finds me attractive,” while the husband is thinking “man, I’d really like to take her in my arms, say I’m so desperately sorry, and hold her, but the second I do, she’s going to become angry or reject me.” So, no one is saying anything and both people are disappointed, although they both want the same things.

Finally, you probably will need to work on restoring your self esteem. You should not deny this or feel guilty about it. It is completely normal and you may have to separate yourself from your marriage to do it. What I mean by this is that while you are working on your marriage, you will also need to work on yourself simultaneously. But, this really can be a positive experience. Give yourself permission to address the things about yourself that have always bothered you, but you put on the back burner. Focus on taking care of yourself as much as you care for others. It may feel selfish, but keep right on doing it. Because the truth is, you will need a healthy dose of self worth to really get over this. And, you need to see yourself as the beautiful and desirable woman you are to believe that your husband really feels this way about you as well.

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Blondie asked:


Lesbian relationship here. So any advise from other lesbians would be great. My partner has stopped giving any affections, kissing, making love, etc, at night I try to cuddle and she pulls away even in her sleep. She says she isn’t yet she gets very mad and defective and tryes to twist it to say I am the one who is cheating, when I am not. I love her and she is my world. What do I do? How do I find out for sure????? HELP

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Aidan Maconachy asked:




Parisians have a reputation for rudeness. Tourists have tales of insolent waiters, horn tooting boors who won’t yield an inch, service people who feign ignorance when accosted with English, haughty hotel staff.

At least this is part of the cultural legend and many Americans need no convincing. In the movie European Vacation, the Griswald family find Paris tough going. Clark, sensing a lack of enthusiasm on the part of wife and kids asks …

“Do I detect a note of dissension?”

“Yeah, Dad,” replies his son, ” Paris sucks.”

Every year Japanese tourists fall victim to what is known as “Paris syndrome”. They claim that the rudeness they encountered in Paris was so traumatic it drove them to seek psychiatric counseling. On the face of it this seems absurd, but many of the afflicted Japanese contend it was plain rudeness that drove them to the shrink. Perhaps the fact that a lot these tourists are women with a starry eyed and idealistic notion of Paris contributes equally to their disillusionment.

As with most stereotypes, prejudice is often in the mind of the beholder and not everyone shares this negative view of Parisians. Au contraire, some tourists are adamant in rejecting the rude characterization and offer examples that demonstrate the courtesy and even charm of the local inhabitants.

However, you have to suspect that the detractors have the edge when French tourist industry officials produce a guide to Paris that emphasizes the importance of understanding local sign language. By sign language I mean gestures, and mostly of the rude variety.

The legend of the rude Parisian isn’t all in the heads of the offended. In the past there have been efforts by the French tourist industry to persuade Parisians to be nicer to visitors, efforts that have usually been greeted with a shrug and grimace by locals. The new guide is an indirect admission that there might indeed be a challenge or two.

Frustrated in the effort to convert Parisians to niceness, the new guide attempts to educate visitors in the “Paris attitude”. This requires an understanding of visual cues, notably gestures that range from the non-committal shrug of the shoulders, or “bof”, to the more explicit “Camembert”, when thumb and index finger are brought together in a circle to tell someone to shut up.

An online guide issued by Ile-de-France regional committee of tourism at http://www.cestsoparis.com shows some humor when tackling the subject of Parisian hauteur. It advises surfers that they don’t need to speak French to get by in Paris. In order to blend with the crowd they just need to know how to … “Stick out your lower lip. Raise your eyebrows and shoulders simultaneously.”

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Anthony Leong asked:




1. I have in the course of my work conducted private investigation outside my country. In this article, I shall try to discuss a few pointers on how to run a successful overseas operation based on my experience and exposure in such assignments.

2. First and foremost, we have to determine the need for an oversea operation by focusing on the objectives of the investigation. This type of operation should only be used if there are no other effective means to meet the investigation objective locally, since it is time-consuming, and involves high cost and security risk to carry out the operation overseas.

3. Bear in mind that it is often not legitimate for us to conduct investigations in foreign countries without proper authorizations from the authorities there. In commercial investigation, I normally exercise the precaution by asking for a formal letter of authorization/appointment from the management at Client’s head office, engaging me to conduct investigations on its behalf into internal matters concerning its branches/subsidiary company in the foreign country. Though private investigation is controlled by the authorities in most countries, it is usually alright for companies to conduct their own internal investigations into affairs or personnel employed in those branches or subsidiaries there.

4. Next, we need to work out the overall operation requirement and prioritize the gathering of the essential elements of information ( EEI) and Other Information Required (OIR). This would help us to be very focus on the entire operation, and avoid wasting resources on unnecessary collection. During our briefing sessions with Clients, we must try and obtain as much preliminary data, and furnish them to the operatives, who should be aware of the case objectives/requirements and be familiar with Target’s appearance, whatever information on his habits, likes and dislikes and preferred mode of travelling, and any other information useful to the operation.

5. Make sure all travel documents are in order. Have sufficient foreign currencies and preferably get ready some Traveler checks. Credit cards should be sparingly used because they run the risk give away the true identity of operatives. I remember a case involving some intelligence officers who went with me on an overseas training seminar when I was still in the Government service. It was their routine to carry dummy passport with fictitious identities but I saw them fumbled when they used their own credit cards to shop, and could not account for the discrepancies between information on their passport and their cards.

6. Travel light and have simple hand carried luggage. Additional clothing can be bought at the country of visit if necessary.

7. Make sure all the equipment are in order – mobile phone with international roaming, video camera, digital and conventional cameras. Common looking compact video recorder and camera that are normally used by tourists, with good zoom capability and low light specifications should be deployed. Make sure to include a touch light and a multi-purpose tool box. Secure a comprehensive road directory of the country, and read up on all information from the web site on the country, the people and the culture, and take note of the important local telephone numbers. I am not in favor of carrying along those sophisticated concealed video or bugging devices because of the difficulty in getting them through the Customs checkpoint and having to explain that we are not foreign spies when they are exposed and checked by the Customs.

8. If it is possible, book the hotel in advance, preferably with the help of Client. In some operations, there may be a need to book two rooms at two or more different hotels, so that if operatives are compromised they could switch easily to the other hotel avoiding the hassle of having to hunt for one at the last minute. They could also alternate their accommodation between the two hotels to enhance ops security. I recall that there was once I nearly ran into trouble in a capital city in one of the neighboring countries. My operative operating a video camera and doing clandestine recording on targets connected with an adultery investigation was unfortunately spotted by a uniformed senior police officer who was at the same hotel with his colleagues attending a security related seminar. Fortunately, from another discreet position, I sighted the officer gesticulating towards the direction where my operative was secretly filming, and excitedly shouting instructions to the hotel security personnel. I immediately telephoned my operative and instructed him to leave the hotel as fast as he could and meet up at the 2nd hotel which we had already booked in advance. My other operatives and I immediately went back to our room, picked up our light luggage, did an express check-out and left the hotel. Later, making sure we were not followed, we rendezvoused with the exposed operative at the pre-arranged hotel.

9. Try to prepare in advance some fictitious business cards to be used as covers, and remove or hide all ID and documents that could reveal operative’s true identities. Once, in an overseas assignment in Penang, I masqueraded as a Taiwanese business man and tried to lure a member of a black-market syndicate to sell some stolen electronic components to me. I prepared dummy name cards with a fictitious name and company registered in Taiwan, and was prepared to offer a cover story that I was a Hong-Konger migrated to Taiwan to account for my lack of fluency in Taiwanese accent.

10. In cases where we have a known target, wherever possible, arrive in the country ahead of him, and commence surveillance on him from the point of his disembarkation, unless there is a operational need to cover him on the same flight, or during train or bus journeys.

11. Using the lead-time gained from early arrival at the country of operation, operatives could make preparations to hire rented vehicle, or make ground reconnaissance and familiarize themselves with the new surroundings. If operationally feasible, arrangements could be made before-hand to hire a rental vehicle so those operatives could move about conveniently.

12. Try to hire a reliable taxi driver in the country of operation, preferably the one who could speak the same language. The other option is to use the hotel’s limousine service and hire the driver on full day basis. He could be co-opted into the surveillance team but care must be taken not to divulge the operational details to him. A suitable cover story could be used.

13. Negotiate the fees in advanced so as to avoid any controversies over the fares during and after the operations. Fees should be settled on a daily basis.

14. If there is a problem with communicating in foreign language, other than the taxi driver, operatives could befriend those locals who could English. One of my favorite spots to do the talent scouting and recruitment is the local pubs and karaoke bars there. There, I would specially look out for those locals who could sing English songs, and make friends with them. After some conversations, we could size up the language fluency and reliability of these locals and decide whether they could be either consciously or unconsciously co-opted into the operations as an interpreters cum guides.

15. It is also possible to hire a local private eye agency and work with them on the operation; but care must be taken not to divulge too much operation details to them and beware of the likelihood they might compromise the operations by selling the information to Target. It is preferred that the local private agency be recommended by a reliable source.

16. Operations could take the form of discreet background checks, visits to locations frequented by Targets, undercover or surveillance operations.

17. Again, during the clandestine operations, the pre-prepared cover stories should be used; this is where the “dummy” name cards could come in handy. I would go down to the details of using passport details that are similar to the nationalities whose identity I am supposed to assume. In instances where I cannot produce my passport for authentication, I would give my name cards and offer the excuse that my travel documents are temporarily held at my embassy of high commission for processing of travelling visa to other countries.

18. Operatives must be careful not to compromise operation security, especially at the early stage of their operations. They should try to avoid any encounter with the local law enforcement agencies, and if they are accosted they should stick to their cover story. One favorite story is to locate missing person, and another is to give the pretext of debt collection. Once, in Kuala Lumpur, my surveillance team was questioned by the locals during a prolonged period of stake out as to why we remained in a position for unusually long hours. We got away with the cover story that we were looking out and waiting for someone supposedly owing us huge amount of money and working in one of the companies along the relatively deserted road. The cover of pretending to be a free-lance journalist or an author sourcing for material to write say a travel guild could also be considered.

19. If the surveillance involves housing Target in a hotel, operatives should try to secure a room directly opposite Target’s room, or at least adjacent to it on the same floor. At the point when Target checks into the hotel, attempt must be made to find out which room he is being accommodated. Otherwise, operatives could use the discreet approach of making a phone call to inquire from the hotel’s operator. The other method is to try depositing a message, or dummy business card, in the name of Target at the reception. Normally, there is a cabinet/shelf at the reception counter where there are compartments with designated room numbers to hold messages and smaller items meant for the hotel guests. We just pretend and wait around longer at the counter to find out the room number when the hotel staff place the message into those pigeon holes.

20. It is necessary to maintain a direct line of communication with Client, or his designated representative, so that critical information or urgent requirement, or say any late-minute change in the traveling schedule of targets, could be transmitted in real time.

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Pushpa Pal Singh asked:




Do you feel your lover might be sneaking up behind your back with someone else? You see there is a big difference between doubts and true facts. You might doubt that there is something going on but what if your doubts are false? Wouldn’t that just spoil your present relationship? This is the major reason why you must know how to read the right signals instead of getting the wrong ideas. Read on to discover some of the most effective ways to catch a cheater and achieve earth shattering results extremely fast…….

Something doesn’t seem right- If you get a gut feeling that something isn’t right then there is something truly wrong. You see most of the times our gut feelings are indeed true because we subconsciously get to know that there is something which does not seem in the right order and it is a feeling which is normally true therefore trust your gut feelings and investigate further.

Turns off his or her cell phone around you- This is another major sign that something real fishy is going on. You see if your partner does not answer certain calls around you even when those calls are consistent or just keeps his or her phone turned off completely then there is something going on for sure.

There is a complete personality change- He or she might try a new hair style, would start shopping for new clothes and even start exercising or join a gym to look good. And all these changes would come into existence all of a sudden. You see these all signals are a perfect indication that your partner has found someone new and is trying to look good for his or her newly found mate.

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James Fargo asked:




Cheating and affairs are poisonous things to relationships that even if hidden from sight completely hollow out and destroy a marriage or partnership from this inside. Even if an affair happened years ago the repercussions of this event can have haunting consequences further down the track.

The reason we use the term hollowed out is that cheating on your partner destroys one of the absolute key bonds that tie a relationship together which is TRUST.

What this means is that cheaters can still love and respect their partners and the statistics who that often times after an affair they realize just how much they DO love their wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend but no matter what other parts of the relationship is still in tact without trust this will rot away.

In fact the very essence of why this is so painful to many people is they may still be in love which makes the relationship limp along or makes breaking up so difficult. If there was no longer love left then breakup up would be the only option for many pending financial concerns and children of course.

So what can we do when we suspect our partner is cheating?

What can we do if we KNOW they are cheating?

And how do we deal with this trust issue even after an affair ends?

Being knowledgeable and informed in these situations is essential and understanding your own tangled emotions as well as your partners’ motives and emotions is vital to tread the right path to the best solution which may be very different from person to person.

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cheating

Francis K Githinji asked:




I would rather be a mistress than the lady of the house. In every relationship there should be a mutual benefit between the parties involved. Have you ever asked yourself about the benefits gained by those women who date married men. It’s every girl’s dream when they grow up to get married and build up a model home to be admired by many people. As these girls grow up and get exposed and interact with many people, the perception of getting married changes. It’s supplemented by another mentality and the issue of dating married men comes in.

In case this woman slips a little and gets hooked up in a relationship dating a married man, the probability is that the trend continues and it becomes very hard to wipe out that spirit of admiring married men. A habit is a disease and this is what makes the girl happy. A theory that is floated by many is that girl would prefer dating a married man because of the financial gains that she gets. It is assumed money is in the hands of married men and that explains the high affinity for the married man to the girl. Another school of thought puts it that this is the group of women who are not keen on being attached to one man, they prefer no attachments. They value their freedom more. I personally see it on a deferent angle. Married men have more experience in matters of love and dealing with women and thus any woman who has had an experience dating a married man may never date an unmarried one. Married men have a hand on experience in matters of dating and they know which baton to press to make her happy when she is not in the mood. You realize that most men have really neglected their women and they have concentrated more on their mistresses. It really hurts to see your man going out with another woman. This makes me feel that it’s better a mistress than a lady of the house.

Once you enter into marriage, you are bound to remain faithful to your spouse. I wonder what happens to most men, only one man in a million will be faithful to their women. This makes women get pissed off and they end up opting to be a mistress rather than a lady of the house. Unlike men, women get heartbroken very easily , it’s a fact that women use their heart to love while men use their mind. This is a reason that makes women get heart broken very easily and they end up getting frustrated ever. It’s for this reason that makes women feel that it’s better a mistress than a lady of the house. Your married partner has nothing to lose when the relationship hits a dead rock. After all it was only for leisure and he can get hooked up with another mistress. In a relationship its all about giving and taking. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled, be rational and be wise not to be on the losing end.

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Ed Opperman asked:




Have you ever considered the thought that your spouse or partner might be cheating on you on the internet? You may be surprised to know that thousands of individuals have experienced broken relationships stemming from seemingly harmless online cheating. It is very important that you detect the deed as early as possible so that you can cut temptation by the root. Find out more how the pros can help you confirm to save yourself the stress and hassle.

With the technology and services available today, you can quickly and accurately verify whether or not your partner is cheating on the Web. Before you start any effort or invest money, check for signs that make you feel suspicious. These may not be regular but altogether worries you.

1. Decreased interest in communicating, doing activities or spending time with you.

2. If he or she always asks where you are but cannot seem to say where he or she is or what he or she is doing.

3. Unexplained increases in credit card expenses, phone bills and internet time.

4. He or she thinks it’s annoying that you’re around whenever he or she is on the Internet. Your partner might be going online when you’re not around.

5. Unusual items in the computer like installation of new communication applications, creation of new email accounts, constantly empty or deleted email messages and visitation of unusual online sites.

These are some of the signs that may give you the right to question or investigate. If you plan to begin with an independent investigation, make sure you do it on another computer, or your partner might find ways to protect him or her self. Try to find out the new email account, names or aliases used by your partner in chat rooms or message boards and other user names he or she might be using that you never knew before. Check a number of popular dating sites and try to search for the user name and profile. If you’re lucky enough to get a clue as to who your partner may be contacting online, also run a scan on the individual.

Online infidelity investigations and dating services can go as low as $69. A reliable Web site feature services that provide you with full information to prove that your partner may truly be messing around behind your back. You may be required to provide a few details that will help render accurate and comprehensive reports such as the subject’s full name, location, contact number, email address, aliases, user names and occupation. Mainly, the process that online services use involves checking a huge database and checking personal ad sites and dating sites where your partner may secretly have an existing account.

Should a personal ad site be found about your partner, you will be provided with sufficient proof and documentation that ensure that you have caught him or her cheating online. In some reports, more than one ad or site may be included as long as it is relevant to your case. You then save yourself the effort and only wait for results which will arrive anywhere from 1 to 7 days. Once you confirm the details, you may then confront and face the situation in the best means possible.

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Veronica L asked:




You are looking to catch cheating husband. First I have to say I am sorry that you have to go through this, the pain, the heartache and the worrying gut feeling that will not go away. If you are looking to catch cheating husband I am sure you have seen all the signs in him of cheating. For the pain to stop you need to find out the truth of what is going on, you might already know in your heart but you need solid evidence. Do not confront your husband without solid evidence 9 out of 10 men will deny an affair if you do not have solid evidence. Also you do not want to destroy a relationship on false accusations.

How to catch cheating husband:

Write down changes – Write down all little changes that you see in your husband, also write down his schedule. When he leave for work, when he comes home from work. When he has a night out with the boys and when he goes to the gym. It might not seem like a big of a deal that he takes the dog out for a 20 minutes longer walk than usual, but when you write things down you can see patterns. Is he maybe calling his lover during theses extra 20 minutes, check his cell phone bill… If he all of a sudden started taking a class every Thursday night, you might want to check out so he is there.

Paper trace – Check your husband`s cell phone bill, for suspicious numbers called. Check his credit card for suspicious purchases, restaurant visits, hotel stays, gifts… ATM withdraws is he all of a sudden taking out larger amounts of money, a cheater does not want to leave trace on the credit card so he carries cash.

Working late – A cheating husband knows that he should not use work as an excuse, but a lot of times that is the easiest way to buy some time for a cheater. A lot of people work late and overtime so this alone does not mean your husband is cheating but the same thing here if you see a pattern, all of a sudden every Wednesday night he has to work late and it does not show up on his paycheck you might want to check if he is there. Show up at his work when he is suppose to work overtime, bring dinner so if he is there he will be happy you showed up. If he is not there, you need to find out where he is.

Follow him or use a GPS – If you have figured out that he is most likely seeing his lover every Wednesday night after work, fallow him in your car after work, see where he is going and whom he is seeing. Another thing you can do is attach a GPS to his car, this will tell you exactly where he is going.

For your husband to be able to communicate with his lover he is most likely using his computer and cell phone. These will leave solid evidence. If you have noticed a change in your husband when he is around his cell phone or computer you need to find out what to do!

Catch cheating husband on the computer or cell phone, these will give you solid evidence! Visit us NOW!

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