Jason OConnor asked:




After the MLB labor dispute in the mid 1990′s, many people think that Major League Baseball has been in the “Steroids Era” ever since. Numerous high profile MLB players have been accused of steroid use and a few, like Jose Canseco, even admitted it openly, crediting the use of steroids for his entire career. In fact, Conseco wrote a book called “Juiced” which documented the use and impact of steroids in baseball.

According to Canseco, up to 85% of MLB players currently playing today are using performance enhancing drugs. Jose’s book titled “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big” names many well-known players who have used steroids during their professional careers.

Another player, Ken Caminiti, came forward about his steroid use and detailed the damage the drug has done to his body. Caminiti admitted that his body had mostly stopped producing testosterone and that his testicles have gotten much smaller. As a matter of fact, his body only had 20% of the normal level of testosterone. And although Ken Caminiti clearly knew the damage it did to his body, he still confessed that he would have done it all over again if he had another chance. Ken eventually died as a result of his steroid use. (from Wikipedia)

Several beloved MLB players have stood accused of using these performance boosting drugs. Names like Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro and Jason Giambi have been tarnished by the claims. Their records and awards have all come under question since they were not achieved naturally, but with chemical assistance banned by MLB commissioner Bud Selig.

A company known as BALCO, the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative has been cited as a central source of steroids to athletes in many sports. BALCO was an American based nutritional supplements company run by Victor Conte.

BALCO made and marketed a steroid dubbed “The Clear”, also known as THG, or tetrahydrogestrinone, which was created by a BALCO chemist named Patrick Arnold (from Washington Post)

In 2003, the company’s role in a drug sports scandal was investigated by two journalists; Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada. The scandal was referred to as the BALCO Affair and focused on the distribution of the Clear to several high profile athletes in America and Europe over a period of several years by Conte, Greg Anderson, a weight trainer and Remi Korchemni, a coach.

The investigation was aided by a tip from US Olympic sprint coach Trevor Graham in 2003. Graham supplied a syringe containing traces of the substance known as “the Clear”. A test to detect the Clear was developed and some 20 Olympic class athletes tested positive for the drug. Marion Jones, an Olympic track star, just admitted to using steroids after years of public denial. She said she used them to prepare for the 2000 Olympics in Sydney and the Olympics committee has now taken away all her medals. (from the Washington Post)

Later, a search of the BALCO facilities uncovered a client list with names including Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Gary Sheffield and a few other MLB players.

Arizona D-Backs pitcher Jason Grimsley’s home was searched in 2006 by U.S. federal agents and Grimsley admitted that he had used amphetamines, steroids and human growth hormones. In the end, Grimsley was released from his contract with the D-Backs and suspended for fifty games by the MLB.

After all this time, steroid use is still a big issue in the MLB. And since Barry Bonds has been mixed up in it and he broke the home run record this year, the story continues to have legs. Perhaps the MLB should institute tougher penalties for steroid use. For example, give out suspensions when catching any player during regulated unannounced testing. If the player tests dirty again, his contract is void and he is banned from Major League Baseball for life.

The penalty has to be severe enough to detract these players from using performance-enhancing drugs. Indeed, baseball has been criticized for being so lackadaisical about steroid use and for not handing out stiff enough penalties. But it is not just the players and their families who get hurt. It’s the fans and children who look up to these players as role models.

All the players in the farm leagues and minors are hurt as well. In their drive to achieve that dream of a multimillion dollar major league contract, they have to perform at the same level or better than the athletes presently playing. That creates huge pressure to use steroids that can be hard to overcome. Some say that amphetamine use is widespread among players in the minor leagues and that steroids are also used a lot.

One thing that makes sense is that if only some players are using performance-enhancing drugs while the rest are not, the former have an unfair advantage, making fair competition impossible. And sports are defined by fair competition, that’s one of the big reasons people love sports. Life is full of grays, but sports are black and white. There is always a clear winner in the end and everyone expects that the winner achieved the success in a fair and ethical way.

Either none of the MLB players should be using steroids or all of them should be to make it fair. Although many people say that achieving new records while using steroids, such as Barry Bonds allegedly using steroids while achieving the new all-time home run record, shouldn’t count, others argue that he was batting against many pitchers who were also on steroids. Therefore, it all evens out, they say. But we don’t know which pitchers were using steroids and which ones weren’t, making it next to impossible to determine what’s fair.

Unfortunately, athletes like Ken Caminiti die because of steroid use. Children lose their fathers, wives lose husbands, Major League Baseball increasingly loses its good reputation, and fans lose respect for the sports figures they look up to. There are probably many reasons why baseball players choose to use steroids. They may feel heavy pressure to be the best and win.

They may perceive this pressure from society, from the fans or their families and friends, or from themselves. It could be that they are driven into steroid use because of greed, or it could even be that they think all the players around them are using steroids and feel they have no choice but to partake as well if they are to successfully compete. An easy shortcut like using steroids must be very appealing to many ball players.

Because steroid use is a relatively new phenomenon, and there are numerous subjective issues that need to be hashed out, Major League Baseball is still seriously struggling with the entire subject. The MLB has not been able to stem the tide, they’ve not been able to successfully curtail its use or make it so undesirable that players choose to abstain. It has proven difficult to determine where the line ought to be drawn. After all, one could argue that equipment has improved over the years, and that things like foot wear are so technologically advanced today that they are performance enhancing too. Fairness is paramount in sports, so the use of steroids by some players continues to have a terrible affect on baseball.

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Ryan Singler asked:




The effects of adultery can prove to be quite challenging to the individual that suffers from them. There are many different definitions when it comes to the term “adultery”. However, the most common definition is that it is an act and violation of the marriage vows. When an individual engages in a sexual act of any kind outside the marriage, that person is said to be an “adulterer”. While this is often referred to as “adultery”, there are other names by which it is known. Infidelity and extramarital sex are examples of other names in which this is known by. Here, you will be provided with information pertaining to the effects of adultery.

The Consequences of Adultery

There are a number of negative consequences that result when someone commits adultery. There are areas in the world in which legal action is pursued as a criminal act. An example of this type of area is Taiwan. In many instances, when an individual has been a victim of their spouse’s adulterous acts, they are issued immediate permission to divorce that individual. As you can see, this is not an uncommon issue. However, when experienced, it can be an absolute disheartening experience for all that are involved. Below are some more examples when it comes to the effects of adultery:

1. Individuals who engage in sexual acts with someone outside of their marriage, often experience high levels of anxiety and depression once this has been indulged in. This level of stress not only impacts the mind in a psychological way; it also affects the physiological make up and parts of the person.

2. By engaging in this act, one may start to experience difficulties in relationships, work, school, and many other areas.

3. Many who have pursued an adulterous relationship have often found themselves suffering financial loss as a result of the relationship that is being pursued.

4. In many professional positions, there is a possibility for termination of employment if the adulterous act was brought to the attention of the employer. An example of when this act may cost a professional loss is law enforcement positions. These are professionals who are expected to achieve the highest level of integrity and it is believed to be a break down of character if adultery is committed. Being a pastor and head of a religious denomination may also line up for dismissal if adultery is committed.

5. When an adulterous act is committed, and others find out, a lack of respect and tolerance may be experienced. This can be potentially devastating.

Conclusion

Adultery is the act of engaging in sexual acts outside the confines of the marriage vows. There are many devastating effects that may occur if this act is engaged in. It is relatively difficult to handle adultery if you are the one that was cheated. You can get counseling, talk to a loved one, and create other ways to cope as appropriate. If you are the person committing adultery, it is important to know the consequences of your actions. The effects of adultery are quite tremendous.

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Kristiana Jones asked:




Unfortunately, half of all marriages will result in a divorce. As you’re walking down the aisle to meet your groom or waiting for your bride to stand by your side as you marry – you probably never thought you would suspect your spouse of cheating. If you do, it can be one of the most painful experiences in the world. Not knowing is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, most spouses accidentally slip up here and there when they are cheating and there are lots of ways to tell if your spouse is cheating. Here are some of the most common signs that your spouse is cheating and ways to catch him now.

If you’ve experienced a serious coldness in the bedroom lately, this could be a sign that your spouse is warming up someone else’s. Many spouses cheat because they are dissatisfied in the bedroom anyway, so if you’re not getting any intimacy, there’s a chance that someone else is. On the other hand, you may notice that your spouse has gotten a bit friskier in the bedroom; wanting to try new things that the two of you have never done together.

This could mean that your spouse is picking up new things and wanting to perfect his or her technique with you! This is a terrible feeling, but it can be a sign that your spouse is cheating on you. You may also notice that your spouse has become distant. Because most cheating spouses still feel guilty, even though they are the ones cheating – they may become distant or even start accusing you of doing things you shouldn’t be doing. This is because they have a guilty conscience and it’s a great way to focus things on you rather than on them.

Overall, if you are already suspicious and you start noticing these types of behavior, there is a pretty good chance that your suspicions are real. You may need to obtain proof that your spouse is cheating before you confront him or her – but you can be pretty sure that a spouse exhibiting these behaviors is a cheater.

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Steve Ubah asked:




You are doing everything right, and he should be the happiest man on earth. But you are starting to suspect that he is seeing someone else. How do you tell if your husband is committing adultery? No one likes the idea, but sometimes, it is the reality you have to face. Here are ten little signs that may point to a cheating husband. If you only find one or two, it is probably nothing, but if you can check off eight or nine items on this list, you might want to have a talk with him.

The obvious smell of the perfume of another woman. You will have to be quick to find this one. Give him a hello kiss right when he walks in the door after the third night of working late. Speaking of working late, another sign is a sudden shift in work patterns. If late nights or unusual weekend working hours become the norm, it may be a sign that he is ditching you to be with her. Give him a call at his office during these times and see if he picks up. He is leaving home dressed up way more than usual. If he is buying new clothes or suddenly styling his hair, he might be making himself look good for the other woman. New items, especially things you know he would not buy, suddenly appear. If your man never buys new clothes for himself, for example, and you see him sporting a new shirt, you might be a little suspicious. You answer the phone several times, but the person on the other end hangs up. This is often a sign that she is calling him to set up a rendezvous. However, hang up calls by themselves could just be pranksters, so do not get stressed out if this is the only sign of a cheating man you see. He changes his recreational habits. If he usually spends all Saturday laying on the couch watching football, but lately he is been going out, it might be a sign he is meeting up with his mistress. He starts working out. Like dressing up, this might be a sign he is trying to get in shape to impress her. He always has a reason why you cannot go with him. If he is going to work out and you ask to tag along, he will have a cop-out ready. Once or twice is nothing; if he always has an excuse to leave the house by himself, it is time to get worried. He stops wanting to have sex with you. If he is getting it from someone else, he may no longer care to make love to you. Your intuition says something is wrong. No, it is not a physical thing you can point to, and it is certainly not enough to accuse him. However, often our subconscious mind picks up on signs without us realizing it. Trust your gut feeling. It is very often correct.

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Dr. Robert Huizenga asked:




Learn from this real time coaching scenario key strategies a person can use to cope with the negativity of infidelity.

The first section presents a summary of the problem and or concerns of the “offended” spouse and what she would truly like to convey to her unfaithful husband.

The article then outlines some goals that help him/her break free from the affair.

The last and important section gets at shifting the focus away from the spouse/partner to him/her self. What is the meaning and power for the “offended” partner or the one attempting to cope with the discovery of infidelity?

After that mental shift (which is NOT easy for someone in the pain and turmoil of perhaps losing one’s spouse, family, and home) I, the coach, offer phrases that he/she can relay to his/her spouse in a way that speaks directly of his/her concern and has the best chance of being heard and getting positive results.

Section #1: The “offended spouse” says:

Even though I know the affair is not my fault, I think about ways I could make myself better. I continue to try and push away the negative and think about what positive has come out of this. Weird thing to say but I can breathe easier knowing that some positive things have come of this. My life is completely different, my husband has decided after 45 days of me finding out and not seeing or speaking to me about anything that he wants a divorce. Needless to say I was absolutely crushed, my family is destroyed or feels that way, we have two children of our own and my nephew who we are guardians for. We have a son who is seven years old and a daughter eighteen months.

All of a sudden, the dream I thought we both were striving to achieve was on pause while he was put on active duty to support the war. Instead I find that he had an affair with a married woman who has four children, he didn’t even cheat right, he told her he was divorced that his wife, whom he still loved left him. I am torn inside in a way that I have never felt before. Most others were shocked by what happened but I knew it was coming and that part is painful. Through this I have found faith to help me through the rough days and family and friends support is always good. I focus on keeping each moment of my life filled with activity.

Section 2: Personal goals suggested:

Continue to work on self improvement goals.

Journal or reflect on your internal dialog. Be aware of the part that has negative thoughts. Try to understand the intent of this part and what this part wants for you.

Continue building your support system (family, friends).

Allow yourself to grieve the loss.

Section 3: What the affair means for the “offended spouse” and what he/she REALLY wants to say to his spouse/partner having the affair:

This seems so sudden. I wonder if you are truly aware of your situation. Looks like you might be buying yourself a bucket of responsibility and perhaps trouble.

I wonder some days why you need to hide (the truth).

What is your situation? Describe your situation. Let it flow. Don’t hold back. Then, ask yourself, “What does this marital mean for ME?” What impact does his/her extramarital affair have on my feelings, thoughts and actions? Then rehearse approaching your spouse/partner with phrases that convey the meaning and impact of the infidelity for YOU.

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Scott Sickles asked:




The emotional signs they are cheating can be a dead give-away that something is not right with your relationship. Emotions are hard to control and often change without the cheater even noticing it. The problem is that emotional changes can mean things other than infidelity so it’s easy to dismiss them as simply being under stress.

The cheating signs of an emotional nature can be very subtle. They can slip right by you unless you know what to look for. Your first clue should just be the fact that there are changes occurring in your partner’s emotions. It’s then your job to find out why those changes are occurring and what you can do about them. The fact is, since you are now reading this article you must already have some suspicions that something isn’t quite right.

Emotional cheating signs are basically any changes that you observe that are not “normal” for your mate. For example, if they have always been the type of personality that is laid back and easy going but now you see sudden outbursts of anger or they seem to be paranoid by the simplest of questions and lash out at you, then you may have a problem. Just don’t jump to any conclusions until you have actual evidence of the infidelity. Remember, it’s all about change and those changes may very well be caused by something else.

It’s completely up to you. You basically have to become an investigator to get to the bottom of the problem. I know that it’s tough to just lay your emotions aside but that’s pretty much what you have to do. You can never let your mate know that you are suspicious. Never. It will only make things more difficult for you.

The bottom line is that the emotional cheating signs will always involve change and those changes may be very subtle and hard to detect. You need to be aware and take note of the smallest of changes because if they are cheating it will obviously affect you in a huge way. You need to prepare and protect yourself. Don’t let those emotional signs they are cheating slip right by you.

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Damilare Banjo asked:




Getting cheated on can be one of the most painful experiences in the world, and the pain only gets worse when you begin to think: ‘ Why on earth did in cheat on me? What does she have that I don’t? Well these are questions you may never get an accurate answer to, but here are some general reasons why husbands cheat on their wives.

Why do husbands cheat?

Unfulfilled Fantasies – Unfulfilled sexual fantasies are a major cause of unfaithfulness. For example a guy who has strong fantasies about having sex with a particular kind of woman or two women at the same time, would mostly jump at the opportunity at the slightest sign of temptation.

Immaturity – It’s common for young men to associate their masculinity to the number of women they have ‘laid’. Such immature thoughts normally fade away with adulthood. Cheating would occur when a man hasn’t grown past such immature thoughts.

Sexual dissatisfaction – Many men use this as an excuse for cheating. I can’t say it’s a valid excuse, but men use it anyway. Sexual dissatisfaction is common when one spouse desires more sex than the other can or is willing to give.

Emotional Reasons – A husband who feels his emotional needs are not being met at home, may seek emotional satisfaction outside his home. This often starts with his spending excessive time with a member of the opposite sex, and this will mostly lead to sexual involvement outside the home.

So how do you catch a cheating husband?

One attribute is common to cheating – Lies.

A cheating husband would lie about his whereabouts, his financial position, his work, and almost everything that can get him some free time away from you. Spot your husband telling frequent lies, and you can easily determine if he is cheating.

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Janine J. asked:




Are you suspicious that your husband or wife may be cheating on you? Maybe you have a gut feeling that something is just not right. Perhaps you’ve even come across some questionable evidence. You deserve to know the truth. Read on for clues how to tell if your spouse is having an affair.

Clue #1: He or she becomes emotionally distant. They may stop talking to you as much, not help around the house as often, or even go so far as to flat out ignore you. Even when you try to ask them what’s wrong, they don’t want to talk about it and deny that anything’s different.

Clue #2: He or she starts paying more attention to their physical appearance. They may buy new clothes, start wearing new or more makeup, start working out, or lose weight.

Clue #3: They work longer or later hours, sometimes with unusual reasons. Another clue that goes along with this one is that they start making other plans all the time – for example, a new golf date every Saturday or “boys night out” more often.

Clue #4: He or she starts being more “private.” Another way how to tell if your spouse is having an affair is to look through your bank statements, credit card statements, or phone bills to see if there are any items that you don’t recognize.

Clue #5: Your intimacy level changes. There may be less touching, kissing, or some difference in the bedroom. You know what’s normal for you as a couple, and when it changes, it could be sign that your spouse is having an affair.

Clue #6: They stop wearing their wedding ring. They may have a million excuses for why they “forgot” it at home or why they can’t wear it at work. If he or she used to wear it consistently and then stops suddenly, it can mean they are trying to hide the fact they are married.

Clue #7: He or she spends more time on the computer or phone. Both of these are commonly used to communicate with the other person. Many emotional affairs are conducted this way. If your spouse is spending more time than usual online, it could be because they are involved in an affair.

Keep in mind that a spouse may exhibit all these clues, but is not really cheating. The opposite may also be true – they may show none of these clues, but truly be having an extramarital affair. These 7 clues on how to tell if your spouse if having an affair are only just the beginning. Once you discover that infidelity has occurred, you will need to move into the stages of dealing with it and healing from the betrayal. Your marriage can be saved if you know what to do next.

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Amy Waterman asked:




The great seductresses of history and legend – Cleopatra, Eve, the Sirens – were able to tempt men to abandon honor, virtue, wife and even life itself to satisfy their desires. Although a seductress’s great beauty was certainly a factor in winning men over to her charms, more often it was her cunning knowledge of human psychology.

Seduction is a specialized form of persuasion that uses a man’s weaknesses (such as his pride, sexual desire, or susceptibility to flattery) to convince him to do something which he would otherwise not do. A woman in love with a married man needs all the arts of seduction to convince him to break his marriage vows. A woman who wants to steal a man away from his current partner needs great skill in these arts as well.

If you wish to seduce a man, you will be faced with the challenge of convincing him to do something that may be against his principles. At the same time, you will be aided by the simplicity of your request. You are not asking that he fall in love with you or even marry you. The definition of seduction is “to persuade to have sexual intercourse.”

Be wary: the skills of seduction are distinct to those required to make a man fall in love with you. When you seduce a man, you will make him crazy for you with lust. He will be intoxicated and infatuated with you. However, infatuation is different from the genuine love that bonds committed couples. Seduction casts a spell that soon wears off.

If you wish to seduce a man, you must first discover his weak points. Is he proud? Does he like being seen with beautiful women? Does he say that his partner is always nagging him? Does he wish, more than anything, to simply be with someone who asks nothing of him? Knowing these “buttons” will help you in creating your seduction plan.

Many men live stressful lives with pressure to perform coming at them at all sides. One successful seduction technique is to position yourself as the woman who is there to listen to him, to nod understandingly, and to comfort him when he feels misunderstood by the world. Never presume to give him advice or criticize his behavior; instead, allow him to talk without interruption. Comfort him by putting a sympathetic hand on his arm or giving him a small backrub. Reassure him that he is, indeed, a competent, strong, capable man. Tease him gently to bring him out of his dark thoughts and into a lighthearted place. He will appreciate you for being the only one who understands him, the one who can make him laugh when he’s feeling down.

Your seduction success will depend on how well you can distinguish yourself from the other women in his life. You listen to him. You never nag. You fill needs that his wife never would. You are always happy to see him. You make him laugh. You take him out of his daily life and bring him into a magical place where he is a king who can do nothing wrong.

But always remember: you can make a man become infatuated with you, but you cannot make him love with you. Genuine love comes from a very different place, one of honest disclosure, openness, and trust. It’s your choice.

If you want to learn more about how to not simply seduce a man, but make him love the REAL you, then you’re ready for my FREE “How to Be Irresistible to Men” 6-Part Mini-Course. It will teach you strategies for attracting a man on a deeper level. You’ll learn what it takes to capture his heart, not just his body.

Discover what it REALLY takes to get the man of your dreams for the relationship you’ve always wanted at:

http://www.000relationships.com/tomen

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Linda Hancock asked:




Years ago people used to talk about having an affair in a totally different context. They would send engraved invitations to people in the community, ensure that the catering would be of the finest calibre and order a new ball gown. Their goal was to have “the affair” of the season.

We talk about people who “put their affairs in order”, meaning that they take care of their financial matters and prepare a will.

Psychologists frequently hear about other types of affairs when couples request help with their relationship problems. The guilt and betrayal felt by the individuals involved can be devastating.

Sometimes during marriage counselling sessions, I surprise the clients by mentioning the word “affair” and am swiftly and clearly told that there is no other person involved! I then remind them that affairs do not have to involve other people. They do, however, represent the focus that we have in our lives and are measured by where we put our time, energy and money. It is easy to be distracted from relationship building when we live in a world of distractions!

Relationships take work. Honeymoons end. We wouldn’t expect a crop without sowing seed and then fertilizing it.

Try drawing two intersecting circles and then divide each into sections that represent where you spend your time. How many hours do you devote to developing the “us” where they intersect?

If an affair can be defined as the place where you focus your time, energy and money, perhaps, using this definition, you might be actually having an affair with golf, gourmet cooking, work or stamp collecting.

Do you want to have the affair of the season? Try investing in your relationship with your partner.

is your partner having an affair