Archive for August, 2009

Ruth Purple asked:




Lovers, Mistresses- who are we to judge them? You sometimes wonder, how can being involved in extramarital affair wrong, when it feel so right and it frees your mind from the restraint world of marriage? What if you realize having an affair works for you? It gives you a breather, a place where you can look at things beautifully and aesthetically. It gives you an opportunity to look at your marriage out side the box. Instead of pushing you to get out of your marriage, it’s inspiring you to improve your married life and yourself. You have become more understanding and less controlling.

Being a lover to someone else’s husband has made you a wonderful wife. Having an affair is not wrong until you get caught and when you do get caught all hell breaks loose. So here are some few helpful tips on avoiding getting caught and of course keeping your affair clandestine and blissful at the same time. Beware of a bachelor lover- they usually have nothing to lose and if the affair gets serious, you might find yourself trapped in blackmail. They might find it hard to follow the number one rule- know where you stand. Being a mistress or a lover has certain guidelines and boundaries.

You should never demand, never nag and never impose pressure; it’s the wife’s job. Imposing pressure will make him panic. Panic means not thinking straight, not thinking straight means being dumb and being dumb means getting caught. On the other hand, it’s your job to be beautiful, fun and sexy, to pamper and be pampered- not bad at all. Do your rendezvous outside the town. It’s a small world and people love to talk. They can sense an affair miles away. So, if you want to watch a movie, stroll in the mall, watch the sunset or whatever- do it in the next town.

Never travel together. A lot of things can happened in traveling, by land or by air. Accidents are never in your control and the last thing you want is to see both your faces in the evening news. Never ever keep souvenirs. May it be in sex or in real vacation; keeping keepsakes can put you in trouble. Especially in sex, leaving kiss, bite and/ or scratch marks is definitely a no-no. So girls, cut your nails short- it’s not worth the risk. Never let him overstay his welcome. Give your man a curfew. If he needs to be home by 10pm, let him leave by 9pm.

By doing this it will prevent the spouse from being suspicious. Absence of spousal suspicion will give both of you a little less worry in your affair. No chaperone please. Chaperone has the tendency to talk to other their best friends and their close friends. Especially your man who has the tendency to have his friend as chaperone for your escapades. There are two kinds of friends- the one who wants to bang you girlfriend and the true one, either way, they will eventually tell on you. Best buddies have the possibility to tell their girlfriends or wives and other buddies- meaning they talk.

Those kinds of talks are the ones you want to avoid. Never let guilt take the best of you. If you feel extremely guilty in having an affair maybe it’s time to end it. Guilt cause you to self destruct, it makes you feel bad about yourself. It is the guilt that destroys the marriage. However, if having an affair makes your marriage stronger and you wiser- then who are we to stop you. Don’t let the norms of society abstain you from being happy. As long as it makes you a better person, go ahead…Besides,” What they don’t know wont hurt them.”

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Peter Davids asked:




What are the early warning signs to show that your spouse is having an affair? How can you be sure if what you suspect about him or her is probably true after all?

First of all, you must never act on mere suspicion without concrete proof. You may sense it quite alright, but you cannot use your intuition solely to justify your suspicions. Notwithstanding, here are some early warning signs to show that something is up with your spouse.

# Are you seeing strange phone numbers on the phone bill being called frequently?

# Is your spouse being secretive about cell phone calls? Is he leaving you alone in the room to take calls outside or somewhere apart from you?

# Has your spouse withdrawn from you emotionally and intimately? Is he or she not communicating with you or touching you as before?

# Is your spouse spending a lot of time on the computer than he/she used to before now? Does he spend lots of time in chat rooms?

# Are you sensing a lot of anger toward things that normally would not bother your spouse? Is he/she getting aggravated over trivial issues?

# Do you notice a drastic change in his/her daily routines? Has there been a sudden change in what he/she does daily without any convincing explanations?

# Is your spouse working out all of a sudden and particularly concerned about their appearance?

# Is your spouse now dressing differently, maybe wearing clothes that are not age appropriate?

# Is your spouse is working more over – time or coming in from work later than is usual? Is he/she looking for convenient excuses to stay away from you most times?

If you sense any of these warning signals, then it’s time for you to dig deeper and try to find out the truth. You need to make discreet enquiries as to the true situation with him or her.Check the cell phone while he/she is asleep or taking a bath in order to see the numbers being called frequently. Look out for unknown numbers. Check out the computer when he/she is not on it to see the persons he/she is sending emails to frequently.

And when you have been able to ascertain the signs, you need to confront your spouse and demand for an explanation. That’s a wiser way of approaching a sensitive issue such as this rather than risk a blow up in which you might turn out to be wrong if you don’t have your facts right.

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James Walsh asked:




Punitive measures, which have been taken against straying wives, were adopted in the mistaken belief that some women are adulterous by nature, and the penalties were meant to discourage repetitive acts.

However, infidelity in a woman has always been a reaction to certain stressful situations. A few of these anxiety inducers that motivate a woman into cheating her spouse have been given here.

Absence of Communication

Very few spouses realise the value of effective soulful communication. Nil or absent communication has been repeatedly stressed as a factor that has induced great marital dissatisfaction.

Usually, in the early years of marriage, motherhood regales a woman and diminished conversation does not affect her much, especially when she is surrounded by her small loving children. Over the years, (once the children turn school-goers) reduced spousal articulation induces severe boredom. A man who rarely talks with his wife fails to fulfil her emotional requirements.

The bored woman soon seeks other avenues for emotional fulfilment. One such easily accessible source in modern times is the internet. In the private confines of her room, the woman develops an instant rapport with men and reveals the most intimate details of her personal life. What amazes many a marriage counsellor or an analyst is that such profound closeness had never been experienced by the marital mates. Probably, such a deep relationship might have prevailed in the days of courtship and would have subsequently vanished during marital life.

Herein is a cautionary word for every married person. It is vital to converse regularly with the spouse, in the right tone and manner. Couples develop a close bonding only by discussing day-to-day issues and planning a life that has to be lived together. When sharing of personal feelings does not occur, it is natural for the woman to turn lonely.

Loneliness and Marital Monotony

Loneliness is a silent killer of the marriage. None can vouch stronger for this fact than the long-suffering wife of an absentee spouse, who globe-trots for professional reasons. Consistent spousal absence or attention denial, (even when present) makes the woman feel neglected.

Usually, men who neglect their wives are disinclined to show any interest in their job, ideas, activities, etc. The wife spends her day taking care of the house and children. The marital monotony combined with negligence hurts her self-esteem. Such women are often found to seek solace in relationships outside marriage.

The place of work proves to be the ideal place for developing close contacts. Here, men and women work adjacent to one another. There is ample scope to turn professional relationships personal and gradually the affair transcends the platonic stage. The relationship is then used by the woman to validate her desirability, boost her self-esteem and nurture her own ego. At times, she might even use this opportunity to seek vengeance on her spouse, for making her suffer so.

A Working Woman

A woman works outside the house, manages a difficult job and then returns home to cook for the family and keep the house clean. Her partner hardly bothers to help. Despite being tired, the woman is expected to do all the household chores like the non-working women of yester years.

This gender adherence to roles should be completely given up if the marriage has to be saved. Men should acclimatise themselves to the changing role of women.

These are a few factors that make women cheat their spouse. Upon revelation of the extramarital alliance, the affair might get prematurely terminated, but the lost trust and faith take years to rebuild.

Women infidelity has been in existence since long, but it is only of late that attention is being given to this issue. An in-depth study of the entire subject has revealed only one factor. Women cheat their spouse, as a last resort, when all other measures to inculcate love and affection in the relationship fail. Adultery in women is easily preventable for women cheat for emotional reasons. If their need for love and respect are fulfilled, rarely will there be infidel women. Women will only cheat their spouse if they are unhappy in a marriage, while men cheat despite being happily married.

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Kwame Ofori asked:




When you discover your boyfriend is cheating is can often be hard to deal with the situation. You may start to question if your suspicions are right or you may simply want to ignore the situation in hopes things will get better on their own. Ignoring signs of a cheating boyfriend is not a good idea. Read on to find out why.

The Basic Risk of Being With a Cheater

Before you simply ignore the signs of cheating in your relationship you should consider the risks of letting the situation go. There are many risks and some can be rather devastating.

First there is the risk for an STD. You do not know if your partner is being safe and you may never know. The risks are rather high.

There is also the risk that your boyfriend will get her pregnant and that is something you may have to deal with if you choose to stay with him.

Another risk is to your emotional health. You may never recover from the strain it puts on you.

There are a lot of risks that are just not worth it. You are better off learning the signs of cheating than ignoring them.

What to Watch For

There are a range of different signs that could mean your boyfriend is cheating on you. Most often these signs are changes that can range from obvious to subtle. You have to be open to the possibility that cheating is going on.

You want to pay close attention to your boyfriends behavior. Watch for obvious and not so obvious signs. Some things may not seem like signs at the time but you may later realize they were part of the puzzle.

When to Know it is Time to Confront Him

You know it is time to confront your boyfriend when you have gathered enough evidence and feel you can counter any excuses he tries to use. You have to be ready for a major confrontation because it will not likely be easy. It is very unlikely that he will just say he is cheating. Instead he will try to make excuses and convince you that all your proof is wrong. Stand your ground and keep at it and he will eventually admit his wrong doing.

It is not going to come easily, but if you use the points from this article and all the resources available to you and take action on them. Help is not far a away.



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Gerry Restrivera asked:




your cheating spouse. But it is a reality and it could happen. If your spouse is acting strange and receiving weird calls it is a sign that you need to do something instead of wondering whether or not your spouse is cheating on you.

If there are situations when you see your spouse talking to someone you do not know over the phone in a whispering voice and will suddenly end the call when you are around is a very suspicious scenario. You may also find unrecognized suspicious numbers on your spouse cell phone and on your phone bills. Seeing these things, you will get suspicious that your spouse is fooling around and you want to catch your cheating spouse.

It is a 50/50 chance that your spouse is cheating on you or it could also be a false alarm and nothing serious is happening. Even if you ask your spouse about the calls there is no guarantee that you will get an honest answer. Your doubts are still there when your spouse keeps receiving calls and acting strange. It is natural to have doubts and get suspicious and there are tools available for you to catch your cheating spouse.

You may feel helpless not knowing what is going on, but the truth is you can do something to catch your cheating spouse. You may find it unbelievable but now you can access any public information you want to know for any phone number in question and it can help you catch a cheating spouse.

Reverse phone detective makes it possible for you to find out who the owner of the numbers, the address, and other public information about the numbers in question. If your spouse is betraying you, use the search results to catch your cheating spouse. You need to prepare yourself in case you find out shocking information that your spouse is having an affair with an old flame. Or you will be relieved that the calls are just coming from business associates that are only purely business dealings.

You don’t have to be clueless and just let your imagination wonder with what is happening. Reverse phone detective will help you find out the truth and catch your cheating spouse.

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How to Catch a Cheating Wife

Richard Bowns asked:




Have you ever wondered how to catch a cheating wife? The worst feeling in the world has to be when you realize that the woman that you love has been cheating. The worst part is, not being sure whether they are cheating or whether you are just being paranoid. You are probably worried sick, exhausted and have a very low self esteem right now. These feelings will subside when you actually find out the truth.

You have probably had a feeling that your wife has been cheating, this is mother nature’s gift to men, although at times I don’t know whether you should call it a gift or a curse. The ability to sense when something is wrong can more often than not be somewhat of a burden, you have the feeling but you don’t always know the reason.

So what has changed? Something has tipped the balance which has led you here. Have you found suspicious charges on your joint credit card bill or found unidentified phone numbers on the phone bill? Whatever the reason, you will find the information here which will help you to find out whether or not you have a cheating wife.

You could start with subtle questions as to her whereabouts while you are at work, try phoning the house when you think she will be there. If you call five times over the course of a couple of hours and there is no answer but on the sixth call she answers, you should not make her aware that you rang before. What you should do is make small talk and then ask her if she has been busy, if she says that she has been sat watching soaps on TV, reading a book or something else in the house you should just make a note of the time and date of the lie. Within a couple of weeks of calling from work, getting no answer, you should be able to put together a pattern. The next step is to book a day off work and wait to see where she goes.

This process does take time and may not be 100% effective, especially is her lover meets her on different days or the patterns are erratic. There are easier ways to catch a cheating wife.

You can ignore it or you can pretend that life is fine, but the fact that you have a cheating wife will not go away, in fact it will probably eat away at you for every hour of every day until you do something about it.

You can lie down and get kicked again or you can stand up like the man you are, and do something about it, It’s your choice.

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Tammie Hanna asked:




Have you come to the internet because you want some information on how to catch a cheating husband? Women who feel that their husbands are cheating on them are constantly looking for ways to catch them in the act. Well believe it or not; they may be showing you signs that they are cheating.

Men who are cheating tend to feel guilty and it is not that difficult to learn how to catch a cheating husband if you know how to spot the signs. They may be exhibiting behavior that is screaming that “they are having an affair.” Here are some of the signs that they may be exhibiting that will help you catch a cheating husband:

1. Appearance: Men who are trying to impress another women will tend to pay more attention to the way that they look. Remember when you both used to date and he spent countless hours trying to look good because he was trying to feel and look good for you. Well he will be doing the same thing; if you notice that all of a sudden your husband is overly concerned about his appearance; that could be a red flag that he could be cheating on you.

2. Cologne: If you know that your husband never wears cologne to work and all of a sudden he begins wearing cologne to work this could mean that he is trying to impress someone. If he wants you to go with him to pick out some new cologne because he ran out and he wants to find something that smells better. You know your husband better than anyone else and it should not be difficult to spout the signs if he is cheating.

3. Schedule Changes: Another red flag that will help you catch a cheating husband is if they all of a sudden begin leaving earlier in the mornings or getting home later in the evenings. When their schedule changes and they are hardly ever home could mean that they are trying to make more time to spend with the other woman.

4. Intimacy: If you notice that your husband enjoyed making love to you during the week and all of a sudden he begins saying that he is tired or had a long day. Men who are having an affair tend to lose interest in their wives; because they are having sex with another women.

No one wants to have to learn that their spouse is cheating; however if you pay close attention to the signs that they are sending it will be not difficult to learn how to catch a cheating husband. One thing you never want to do is accuse them of something that you are not completely positive about.

If you want more information about how to catch a cheating spouse or how to learn how to spot the signs; visit our site below.

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Teddy Shabba asked:




There are many reasons why men might feel that looking for signs of infidelity on her part is important even though it usually means the opposite.

For instance, many times before you might have found yourself looking for signs of her infidelity because you wanted to know if your relationship with her was in jeopardy of ending.

Yet, the truth of the matter is once you start looking for signs of her cheating on you your relationship is already in danger of failing.

To make matters even worse looking for signs of infidelity never actually improves the relationship that you have with her.

In other words, looking for signs of infidelity on her part hurts your relationship with her both in the short term and long term (if it makes it that long).

Also, looking for signs that she is cheating on you is one of those habits that once you make the decision to start isn’t easy to stop.

It also lets the woman that you are in a relationship with know that you are emotionally weak and that you don’t trust her.

Unfortunately for you the only type of women who are willing to put up and stay in a relationship with this type of behavior and reality are the kind of women who are most likely to cheat or have other “big issues” in their life.

Hopefully now you are beginning to realize how looking for signs of her cheating on you puts you in a position where the only women who are going to be willing to stay with you are women who cheat and other women who aren’t healthy for you to be in a relationship with.

Since I doubt you really want to be in a relationship with a woman who cheats.

Now is the time to ask yourself what will your looking for signs of her cheating on me achieve?

Then act accordingly!

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sugar cane asked:


i mean, what action is considered as cheating your partner?

hari ni banyak cheat cheat,, hehe

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Dean Novosat asked:




Infidelity in marriage is usually a sign that there is a problem in the relationship, for one or both partners. Chances are, if you’re checking out this article, then you’re someone who is really hurting right this moment due to infidelity or an affair in your relationship or marriage. A generation ago, longtime therapists used to say the classic response to infidelity in marriage therapy was to ignore it whenever possible. However, today things are different! You have a right and need to know if your partner or spouse is cheating. If infidelity happens in your marriage, you are going to have to respond in some way and I suggest you pull out all the stops to try to catch your cheating spouse.

Infidelity

Infidelity has recently been thrust into the spotlight of politics and national news. Infidelity shows a person’s dissatisfaction with themselves. Infidelity is a pattern of behavior that seeks self-satisfaction. Infidelity has been considered wrong since antiquity. So why do people cheat? There are many reasons, but the main reason is that it doesn’t really matter! If you are on the wrong side of the person who is cheating on you, then you need to find out if they are being unfaithful and you need to put an end to it. Is your partner committing infidelity on you? How long have they have been committing infidelity? Again, it doesn’t matter! Find out now if your partner is committing infidelity on you. This will save your sanity and may just save your relationship. You can’t pretend it isn’t happening. Denial is not the answer when it comes to infidelity and a cheating partner.

What to Look for in Cheating

According to the dictionary, infidelity means unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, and in layman terms this simply means that your girlfriend / wife or your boyfriend/husband could be cheating on you with someone else. I think that cheating is wrong no matter how you look at it. This is just my personal opinion. However, the latest research suggests that the gender gap is narrowing but that men are still more likely to be the cheating partner in a marriage. One reason is that many men still travel for work. Travelling for business is still the most common excuses for the cheating lovers as well as being the best getaway from you. Even if your lover is really on business traveling, it is often the best excuse to afford a cheating lover a chance to literally stay away from you.

What to Do About It

Infidelity in relationship can happen to you. In order for a marriage or relationship to have any hope of surviving infidelity, the affected spouse must recognize that the relationship is wrong and be willing to end it. Every time the media gives attention the topic of infidelity and cheating spouses, many couples internally ask the question of how they would cope with such a situation. If the infidelity is one of many symptoms of abuse in your relationship, or if your spouse is a serial cheater, it may be time to throw in the towel. But before you get to that point, you must find out if your spouse or partner is actually cheating. There are many resources you can tap into including private detective agencies that will track your spouse or partner, but this can be expensive. I would recommend you start with some self-help books. These books can outline some of the steps you can take and the signs you can look for without spending a lot of money. This way you can confront your suspected cheat and they just may admit to the affair. In this case, it is up to you how you want to save the relationship or marriage.

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